an update. kind of.

I need to write a real update. I know. But I can't right now. My contacts aren't in, and I can barely see. I can't even see these letters.

But here's the thing. I need help, again, God. I feel like Anne Lamott was right when she said that the twp best prayers she knows are "help me help me help me" and "thank you thank you thank you." So this is one of the first kind, although, thank you for everything. The second kind is obviously more important.

So, back to the first kind. Let me know what you're thinking? Probably not this boy, that's okay. I know that you'll let me know if he's the one or not. And it's fine if he's not. But it'd be nice to be lead toward someone who is. Or could be, with a little bit of effort on my part and a lot on yours.

And thank you. Thank you for everything, because you understand everything that I want and desire and need. And you'll provide all of the last bit, and as much of the first two as is good for me. Which is best. So thanks.

love emily

-----
"Frail" by Jars of Clay
Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...

Blessed are the shallow
Depth theyll never find
Seemed to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...