here is our God who's come to bring us back to Him

"just to know that you are near is enough
God of heaven, come down"

pffffffffffft. That's what I have to say.

ended whatever it was with jack tonight. riikka, who I think is going to be my new accountability partner, thinks it's right, too, but it's just so hard. but I feel like I was called to do it, so it should be all right, you know? I know, anyway.

And we talked about religion tonight. And how I don't think that God isn't real if he doesn't think so. That his not believing in my God doesn't mean my God is any less universal. And I love that about God, so it was neat to hear myself saying it outloud. Even if he didn't get it.

At least he knows that my faith is important to me. And that I'm not okay with being "friends with benefits," aka "that girl that I can call and make out with." That I'm either your girlfriend, or nothing, and that being your girlfriend means rules. Which you don't like. Because you don't do rules. But that's all right, you know? Because I do rules. And I set the pace.

And I want to find a guy that makes me not have to worry about all of this.

Please, God. Please send someone my way who's adventurous and funny and sweet and kind and respectable and spontaneous and cute and who, if I try to make a move, will hold my wrists, look me in the eye, and tell me that that's not what I'm supposed to do. And to not get ahead of myself. At least every once in a while.

I'm kind of lonely. And it's been an hour.

Ugh. Bedtime.