so, God, here's a couple of things that are twirling around inside of me.

first, kyle. god, please be with him right now. I know that he's struggling and I know that senior year is especially scary, particularly when you don't know what you're doing next year. Lord, just help him to realize that you want him to pursue you with his life just as badly as he wants to, but that he needs determination and drive and passion to do it, and he can't settle for anything less than his best. I know he has it, God, he just needs to throw it out there unashamedly. And lord, bless josh for his role in that whole thing, particularly mediating it, and help him to realize that he is such a strong voice for you in kyle's life. it's incredible to me how he can be both a friend and a voice of reason that's older and wiser. it's really, really beautiful, god, and I know that kyle needs it so badly. thank you for giving him josh. thank you for teaching josh how to love like you love.

god, for the boys at chi phi right now (or whichever frat that is), keep them safe. they're being really loud, and I'm a little worried for them. keep them safe, okay?

thank you for noor. and for the people that came to qur'an bible tonight. god, help me to increase those numbers exponentially. lord, with you, all things are possible. please help that to carry over into fall.

thank you for rylee. please help keep teaching me how to be a friend to her when she's stressed and its' the end of the year. keep us close.

god, thank you so much for josh. but thank you for your role in it; in everything. It astounds me how incredibly central you are to his life, and how central I try to keep you to my own, and I love that he is a model for me in that. God, thanks for letting me help him when he needs helped and for teaching me how to let him in when I need it. thank you for the fact that he "spot-checks" me every 20 seconds, and that we both have that weird, "look at the crowd and see most strongly the person who makes you so happy."

god, thank you for how incredibly happy he makes me. thanks for late night rock band with 30 year olds that he admires, and for the field next to the Laird Barn, and for how my heart beats faster when I come around the corner and see him walking toward me. thanks for how this jacket smells and for how it instantly brings me back to him.

thank you that he likes me.

God, he really needs you this week, and especially this summer. bless his studies, Lord, like only you can. help him (and me in the same vein) to learn to rely on your for everything, even school, which the world conditions us to think we can do alone. we can't. Help whatever he studies to multiply over and over and help him to see beyond it to the future.

Thanks, father, that his future is so incredibly bright.

His successes are not my failures.

thank you for teach for america, and help me to learn to support him in everything, not just in a program that might lead him to atlanta. would that be great? sure. but that's not a necessity. because the thing is, if it's meant to be, you'll let it be the way it's supposed to. and I trust you implicitly, I just need to learn to jump.

god, help me to leap. soon'd be great. help me to rely on you so fully it overflows. about classes, about finals, about josh, about the future, about jordan.

with hope. god, your hope is incredible. your hope is the confident expectation of a coming good and an anchor for my soul.

I trust you, Lord. Help me to see what in my life is unfavourable, and how to cut it out. lord, if any aspect of josh and my relationship is unfavourable and dirty, lord, please show me how to stop it so that I may and we can progress on together towards infinity.

solamente contigo.