lie awake and wait for the sunrise / there'll be no sleep tonight

I got a bunch of music back from josh today, in an attempt to fix the crisis that was my computer crash. I'm listening to one that was a soundtrack of this summer (Nine Til Midnight by Honestly). It's a really, really beautiful song. Mostly it reminds me of lying in bed at Cornell, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and missing him.

I guess I bring this up because Laur and Ry have been talking about studying abroad recently, and it's been making me think, because I really hadn't considered doing it until they brought it up. Not that I don't like traveling, because obviously I do, but because of major stuff and premed stuff and a whole raft of stuff like that, it just seemed like it wouldn't happen. That, and the fact that since I plan on spending 5-10+ years working overseas, I guess I'm not jumping at the bit to go now. I don't think I'm the typical "I've never left america and this is my only opportunity ever!" sort of kid who does study abroad.

But what would it mean to do it? I mean, my roommates will be gone, if they go (which they probably will, spring 2010). And me? Well. That becomes the question. I know that there are a ton of opportunities here, and I don't know if studying abroad would help me or hurt me on that front. I know I'd be bored out of my mind here without the girls, and that leaving josh here would be really, really hard. I only know that after this summer, and the most we went without seeing each other was 8 weeks. And it felt like forever. But, he might not be in atlanta next year. He could very easily be in baltimore, eastern NC, or a raft of other places. And if that happens, will I wish I had applied and gone, since I won't be able to see him as often anyway?

It's just a little strange to me, because I really hadn't considered this, and now I'm trying to decide what it would mean to go or to stay. and I know that I'll regret it if I decide it makes sense academically and I don't go. So. does it?

I really need to pray about it.