Monday, March 10, 2008

faith means seeing God as more real than anything I've ever encountered.

when are you a man?
is it when you can form chairs out of wood,
lift 200 lbs,
or cry with racking sobs, head in
your hands, face
to the ground?

are high schoolers men?

what you think
separates you now
will some day let you relate to
the 17 year old boy, falling to his knees
gun in his hands,
the 17 year old girl, waking up dirty and
standing under a scalding shower
to burn away the shame and the filth,
the 16 year old boy,
who can't keep hating himself,
and the 13 year old girl who
wanted her pants left on.

(Sometimes I drive by the Jewish cemetery and wonder
what it must be like to
still be in the ground.
Al término, paz.)

You'll grow up but you won't
lose the pictures in your head that
hurt to see; the shower faucet, her pants on the floor,
the silent dinner conversations that never made you
feel loved. (Do you now?)

How long until loving won't hurt?
How long until you'll stop seeing hand prints all over your body
when you stare naked in the mirror?
How long until God forgives?

When does the saving grace kick in?
Am I still eligible?
-3/10/08

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